Affection on Kate's Terms...

Kate's dear friend Luke LOVES to give her hugs and hold her hand - as you can see from the pics, he has been like that since they were babies. I know something inside Kate loves to hug Luke and hold his hand too, but at least 98% of the time it has to be on her terms - not his.

Luke chooses to express his affection physically more often than Kate, so he's usually the one who reaching out for the hug or to hold hands... thus resulting in their #1 relational conflict because she won't stand for ANY of it (poor Luke often has the sad look of the pic from the Arboretum where he was trying to hold hands and she's pulling away). She will fall to the floor crying, run away from him, tattle on him for "touching" her, or do other similar things to resist him - until about two minutes later when he's given up and she decides to reach her little hand out to hold his or give him a hug.

Nothing makes Luke's day more than when she reaches out her arms to hug him or hold his hand! But even in those moments, she'll only extend the invitation for an amount of time she determines (which usually isn't as long as he would like!). She's such a silly girl sometimes - but incredibly, Luke still loves her unconditionally enough that each time we're together he still reaches out that sweet hand for her even though he has to know what the outcome will likely be!

On one hand I wish she would be sweeter to her friend by easily returning his affection - but on the other hand I definitely don't want to force her to hug someone or hold hands if she doesn't want to because in ten years or so I'll be trying as hard as possible to get her to resist those adolescent boys! And - though it's hard for me to even think about right now - a godly man who is able to overlook her faults, love her when she's unlovable, pursue her affection relentlessly, and give her unconditional love just like Luke does right now is the sort of man I pray she someday chooses to spend the rest of her life with.

Oral Surgery

Cody went to the oral surgeon this morning to get five teeth pulled - one molar and four wisdom teeth. His dentist looked slightly more gentle and his tools looked a little more professional than the guy in the pic above, but I'm pretty sure this is how Cody viewed the doc and his tools.

All is going well so far - changing out the gauze, taking meds, ice packs on, staying elevated - just the regular stuff. But for Cody this is a very big deal since he's never even had an IV before this morning. He HATES needles... and even gets a little whoozie if he has to watch me or Kate get poked.

Over the course of the nine years we've been married, Cody has taken care of me through 8 or 9 different surgeries - but this has been my first opportunity in our marriage to be on the nurse side rather than the patient side post-op.

I think I like the patient side better. It was very hard to just hold his hand this morning and have to stand there unable to help him as they got his IV started and strapped on all the monitors. I wished over and over that I could just trade places with him for a few minutes so he wouldn't have to go through the hardest part of his day: the needle. I'd have let them poke me 18 times if they could have found a way for him to not have to hurt.

I guess we have to allow the ones we love the most to hurt sometimes so they will be better off in the long run... but even though I understand that, it's still definitely not easy to stand by and watch them hurt.

So today I'm perfecting the art of being a good nurse as Cody starts the healing process. I know the next few days won't be a whole lot of fun around our house, but we're both going to be learning how to fulfill our new roles and appreciate each other in different ways than before.

Toddler Earring Advice

Disclaimer before you read further: Kate is absolutely fine and healthy...

Last night while I was cooking dinner, I gave Kate a kiss on her cheek and realized her earrings were missing - both earring posts, both earring backs. We pierced them last summer because she'd been asking about having them done for a while and we decided to use the piercing as a reward for her good potty training performance. We've lost a back to an earring once - and we nearly lost the front to one while at a Christmas party - but those were both just inevitable accidents. With all four pieces of the earrings missing, we knew this was undoubtedly something intentional.

I turned our house upside down looking for where she might have stashed the earrings. She told me all sorts of things ranging from them being in her tummy to she shot them through the basketball goal outside (even though she hasn't been outside in days because of the cold, wet weather) - three year olds are definitely not reliable when it comes to this sort of thing. Since Kate has a rich history of putting things in her mouth and I couldn't find the earrings after an extensive search, I started leaning towards the possibility she may have swallowed them.

So here's what I learned last night... it makes me feel quite ignorant to admit I didn't know these things before last night, but in case it might save someone reading this blog time, money, stress, and safety, I thought it was post worthy:

1. They sell earrings that have backs that screw on which are very difficult to take off - these earrings cost more because they are "real", but purchasing them is cheaper than taking your child to the urgent care clinic because they may have swallowed a less expensive pair.
2. Pediatricians do not recommend that small children have anything but screw back earrings in their ears at all times because every child is unpredictable.
3. If your child can swallow a drink of water and eat a bite of bread without difficulty after a suspected accidental object swallowing, there is no immediate danger (if they cannot, you need to call 911).
4. If you suspect your child swallowed anything sharp: nail, straight pin, tack, earring post that she got her ears pierced in with the very sharp back, etc - the pediatric on-call nurse's advice is to take them in to be seen immediately even if they can swallow just fine.
5. Cook Children's Urgent Care facility will not discuss insurance information or fees for service over the phone or in person until AFTER the child has been seen - CareNow will tell you exactly how much things will cost over the phone with your insurance and can x-ray your child to see if they swallowed something, but if any intervention is needed they cannot do it.
6. If your child did swallow an earring and they see it on an x-ray, Cook Children's doesn't recommend any immediate treatment - they will wait to see if it passes on it's own before intervening.
7. After scouring 2 malls and a few outside places, I found Sears at the NE Mall to be the most economical choice in our area to purchase quality screw back earrings. Wal-mart has some very cheap ones to offer ($10), but if you pull with reasonable force you can easily pull the backs off them without unscrewing anything. The major jewelry stores have them priced as much as $500 down to as little as $50 (the cheaper $50 options were at JC Penneys in NE Mall and at the Zales Outlet in Grapevine Mills). But Sears got my money this afternoon for some 14 ct. gold ball screw back earrings for $25. So if you need to get some screw back earrings for a toddler in your life, I recommend looking at their selection.

Kate is doing quite well, I'm a much smarter momma today than I was yesterday when it comes to earring safety and swallowed item protocol, we're still hunting her earrings, and as you can see from the pic above, she's enjoying her new gold screw back earrings!

Today's Adventures

#1 - While coloring with markers at her picnic table when I was in the shower this morning, Kate decided to color her belly button purple. We're still in the color with markers in just underwear stage because she "accidentally" marks all over everything, but she's never PURPOSELY put it in her belly button before - a little while later she asked me if I wanted a purple belly button too... and acted quite offended when I said no.

#2 - While singing her current favorite song ("Sweet Home Alabama" - I know it's odd, but it is what it is) this morning, Kate switched the words out and sang: "Sweet Home OBAMA" over and over. When I shot her a questionable look, she looked back proudly and sang even louder: "Sweet home O-BAMA!"

#3 - Last night it was sleeting and freezing cold outside, so Cody had a fire blazing in the fireplace and I decided s'mores would be a great dessert. Kate was very excited and wanted to help me get it all together so I asked her what we needed for our s'mores... she said, "Marshmallows, chocolate bars, and nut-crackers!" I tried explaining that they are graham crackers, but she would hear NONE of it. After we roasted her marshmallow to make her s'more sandwich, she took a small bite of her s'more, looked over at me, and said very seriously: "I love NUT-crackers."

So Long Birthday...

The birthday rush is now officially over. Kate and I just finished licking icing from our lips after eating the last two birthday cupcakes as our healthy mid-morning snack. When the cake's gone, the party is definitely over. Three years old has already brought new challenges our way even though we've only enjoyed the age for three days. Here are a few examples:

On Saturday night I was carrying the girl on my back through the mall and she said "STUPID" in my ear. I asked her what was stupid... she paused for a minute and said, "ALL these people."

On Sunday she informed me all the way to church that she didn't want to go. I asked her why not and she said with as much authority as she could muster into her voice, "Because-I-said-so."

Yesterday we were at Target waiting for our turn to check out - you know the place where marketers have strategized to best locate flashy, sugary items that will entice children to beg, prompt mothers (who are already barely able to hold onto their sanity after shopping with a toddler for an hour) to refuse giving their precious child the item because the cart is already full of as many snacks and food for the child as is affordable, and thus produce massive amounts of tears, fits, and general unpleasantness from all involved. Anyway, there we were ready to check out when I hear candy clattering to the floor. I turned around and saw angelic newly three year old eyes looking back at me with her little girl hand frozen in the mid-air. She immediately stammered, "I didn't do it. My brother-sister turtle Tim did it." Then she turned her head toward the invisible being on the ground and started explaining to this "brother-sister turtle Tim" why he/she/it shouldn't have done that and to pick it up RIGHT NOW.

So in three days I've had to find ways to deal with disrespect of others through insult, definite independent ideas and a desire to be autonomous, lying, blaming, and deceit... or I imagine another way of looking at it would be that I've gotten to deal with the ability to imitate others, the ability to identify her wants and share them with me, and a newfound capacity for imaginative creativity.

The adventure of three years old is in full swing around here!

Party Video as Promised...

She had so much fun - thanks to everyone for making her birthday so special!