Miss Manners' Latest Decree

When Cody and I bought our house in DFW a couple years ago, we tried our best to make the process of fixing it up and moving in as efficient as possible by making well thought out plans. After the stress of painting practically every room in the house, installing new lights and ceiling fans, painting the kitchen cabinets, cleaning blinds, and all the rest of the remodeling process was complete, we thought moving day would be smooth sailing in comparison.

We were so blessed to have so many people willing to come help us move! Because we knew so many were coming we made an effort for everyone to help us stay organized by having all the boxes labeled for which room they should go in - and I taped to the door of each room little drawn out mini-maps of where the furniture in each room should be placed (so after the guys left Cody and I didn't have to struggle to rearrange everything around the boxes). All in all the move went great - no life-threatening injuries, no broken furniture, very quick to get everything out of our apartment and out of our storage facility into the house... until Cody decided to get the guys to help him set up the refrigerator and washer/dryer.

Our "smooth move" was totally obliterated the moment the guys started backing the refrigerator into its spot. It went just fine until about the last foot or so. This would be unfortunate in any spot of a kitchen, but was particularly inconvenient for us because the refrigerator shares a wall with the garage, so if it stuck out just an inch more than it should, the door from the kitchen to the garage would be unopenable.

While I started unpacking our the bathrooms and bedroom boxes I observed the following events take place over the next six or seven hours: removing a pipe that was sticking out from the kitchen cabinets a few inches along the floor and re-plumbing the area, hack-sawing (no other saw available) off a few inches of my FRESHLY painted kitchen cabinets at the top since the cabinets were hanging down too low, removing a light switch panel, rewiring that outlet to work on the other side of the wall (in the garage), spackling the hole where the outlet was, and then the frige was able to be scooted back into its place just far enough that the door to the garage can open and shut as needed. HOWEVER, because of the refrigerator's awkward positioning, the freezer door cannot be opened more than about 45-50 degrees because of its close interaction with our garage door knob. But, that was a compromise I was more than willing to make in order not to have to buy a new refrigerator - especially considering all the work Cody and the other guys had put into getting our proverbially square peg to fit into its a round hole!

So, understandably, space between the refrigerator and the door to the garage is a bit tight. Since Kate has been tall enough to open doors, her favorite thing to do to help me in the mornings is to be my door to the garage operator. She loves to open the door, hold it open for me, and then close it behind us as we go get in the car - and I love her skill because my hands are usually full of my bag, her bag, my coffee, my breakfast, sometimes her breakfast, and any other random thing we might be needing as we head out the door so having a free hand to open and close the door is a welcome luxury.

Yesterday I was running a little late in trying to get us out the door for Bible study. I had Kate corralled in the kitchen and ready to go. As I was picking everything up off the counter I realized that in my morning insanity I'd forgotten to put creamer in my coffee (YUCK), so I rushed to the refrigerator, swung open the door, and stood there for a second to unscrew my coffee holder and pour some creamer in. Meanwhile, Kate took her cue from the various things in my hands that it was time for her most cherished opening the door job, but her precious garage door knob was being held hostage from her by the open refrigerator door and me. I think she may have thought I wasn't going to let her open the door since she could we were in an unusual hurry and I was closer to the door than she was, and those thoughts are most likely what provoked her to try her best to shove her way past my legs and curtly command, "Get out of my way."

WHAT?!? My head started whirling: did she actually say that, that's funny to hear coming out of the mouth of a two year old, no it's not funny, well it's a little funny, have I ever said that to her without realizing it, have I said it to her in my actions even if I haven't said it in so many words, where has she heard that, what time is it, do I have time to deal with this right now, I have to make time whether or not I have time or else this will get worse, let me sit all the stuff I have in my hands back on the counter so I can talk to her, please let her apologize and understand without me having to spank her, okay here goes:

M: Kate, has someone told you to get out of their way like that?
K: (mumbling nonsense words or at least what sounded like no words I know)
M: It isn't kind to say, "Get out of my way" to Momma or to anyone.
K: Why?
M: Because it isn't good manners. You should say, "Excuse me please."
K: That's not what you say.
M: Why not?
K: That's what I say when I burp.
M: (Suppressing a smile) You should say it whether you burp or if someone is in your way.
K: But I didn't burp.
M: I know you didn't burp, but you wanted me to move and so you should say, "Excuse me."
K: (louder this time with more emphasis) But I DIDN'T burp.
M: (Again making great attempts to hold a straight face and trying to figure out how to find an agreeable solution so we could get out the door) Then try saying, "Will you please move?"
K: (Without hesitation) Will you please move?

So I moved out of her way, picked everything back up, juggled it on my way to the car much more easily because of my little door helper, and we made it to Bible study in record time.

Morals of this story: a) though it isn't typically a top 10 home buying detail to consider, always make sure your refrigerator will fit in your new home before moving day by actual measuring rather than just eyeballing it, b) if your refrigerator prevents having much room in your doorway, please find a way not to stand in that crucial space between it and someone who has a tremendous need to open that door, and c) in toddler world, only one phrase of politeness can be tolerated per category of incident so sometimes mommies have to get creative.