Affection on Kate's Terms...

Kate's dear friend Luke LOVES to give her hugs and hold her hand - as you can see from the pics, he has been like that since they were babies. I know something inside Kate loves to hug Luke and hold his hand too, but at least 98% of the time it has to be on her terms - not his.

Luke chooses to express his affection physically more often than Kate, so he's usually the one who reaching out for the hug or to hold hands... thus resulting in their #1 relational conflict because she won't stand for ANY of it (poor Luke often has the sad look of the pic from the Arboretum where he was trying to hold hands and she's pulling away). She will fall to the floor crying, run away from him, tattle on him for "touching" her, or do other similar things to resist him - until about two minutes later when he's given up and she decides to reach her little hand out to hold his or give him a hug.

Nothing makes Luke's day more than when she reaches out her arms to hug him or hold his hand! But even in those moments, she'll only extend the invitation for an amount of time she determines (which usually isn't as long as he would like!). She's such a silly girl sometimes - but incredibly, Luke still loves her unconditionally enough that each time we're together he still reaches out that sweet hand for her even though he has to know what the outcome will likely be!

On one hand I wish she would be sweeter to her friend by easily returning his affection - but on the other hand I definitely don't want to force her to hug someone or hold hands if she doesn't want to because in ten years or so I'll be trying as hard as possible to get her to resist those adolescent boys! And - though it's hard for me to even think about right now - a godly man who is able to overlook her faults, love her when she's unlovable, pursue her affection relentlessly, and give her unconditional love just like Luke does right now is the sort of man I pray she someday chooses to spend the rest of her life with.